Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here? I can feel something calling to me. A longing. It's called to me all my life. In every moment. From the moment I wake until the moment I rest my head at night. What is it?
It's why I'm never here; because I know I should be 'there'. It calls to me to come. But I don't know where 'there' is - I keep looking. I keep searching. It keeps calling to me. It never leaves me alone.
"You are the truth you seek."
A voice of wisdom spoke to her, from where she did not know. Not even a voice, but a knowing, a thought, a feeling that entered her consciousness.
"Deep within you is your truth. The truth you seek. You will not find it outside. All those voices, those distractions - clamouring for attention. They make demands, they tell you what to do, who to be - don't listen. Quieten them, quieten them all and make room for silence for then you will hear your voice. Your voice is your guide, listen - it is the only one that knows who you truly are."
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Everytime she dared to dream, dared to hope, something came along and blocked her. They were not imaginary situations. They were real life, in your face, pressing situations that demanded that she dropped all her dreams and do what needed to be done. She was a kind soul, she cared about others and she was willing to put them before herself.
She still had her dreams. They nagged at her from the corners of her mind but life seemed to have other plans. She watched on as her friends flew in the sky and she wished she could join them but life had chained her feet to the ground.
She gave up looking at the sky. It only taunted her. Her head dropped and her eyes settled on the chains around her feet. What good were dreams to her now? What good was it to be reminded of the life she felt sure she was meant to live? These chains bound her and restricted her.
Inside, she felt so alive. Her spirit free and soaring. So much love in her heart and enthusiasm for life. For the details of life. She saw love in the most unexpected of places. Her spirit so huge, she could feel herself expanding into all that life really was. Yet the clouds that hung around her turned everything grey. The sunshine was hers. She knew it. If she could only shake off these shackles. Blow away the clouds. The sunshine would come back to her. But the more she struggled to break free, the more the chains gripped around her legs. She gave up and sunk to the ground. Her heart so heavy. Not even any tears left to cry. Just empty and drained.
She wanted to escape. She wanted to be free. She thought about dying but she knew she would never do that - giving in was unacceptable. She just needed to find hope again. To find the strength within herself to push away the obstacles, to rip apart the chains and walk the path she knew she was always meant to walk. For it always called to her, even in her darkest days, it never left her side. Always whispering, always there, always encouraging her to set herself free and live the life she was given. And be the person that she was.
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