Beautiful Lady Fox

 

 One day, I sat down in the woods. Peaceful, quiet, no-one around - bliss!

And then ever so quietly, a female fox came to say hello. She checked me out, looked at me with such intelligence in her eyes. I felt humbled. We communicated but not a word was said. I think in my mind, I just said, "Hello" to her and trusted that she heard me. :)  Can we talk to animals?  Yes, I think so but not in words, in the 'energy' we give off to them.  They know who you are, without a single word being spoken.

After a while, of checking me out, she sat down. Not too close, just at arm's length as if she just knew how long my arms were. She sat facing me, still looking at me. I looked at her back.

And then she turned her back on me, and laid down, still in the same spot, an arm's length away and then I knew she trusted me. Animals never turn their back on people they don't trust. I was honoured.

She was beautiful and serene.  She was peaceful.  I know foxes get such a bad name but all they are doing is what they need to do, to live.  Nothing more.  She was beautiful and I'll never forget the time she spent with me.

Little White Butterfly

When I was a little girl, and I don't remember the exact details of how it happened to happen, but I looked after a "cocoon" in a match box.  I remember so clearly, opening the match box and checking on the cocoon that lay inside.

I was so fascinated.  It was alive in there but hidden.  And it seemed to take ages to do what looked like absolutely nothing.  I kept checking on it, opening the little match box and there it would be - cocooning.

Then one day it started to change, so that night I went to sleep and left the match box open, outside in the open.

In the morning I awoke and rushed to take a look and the matchbox was empty.  She was gone.

And then later that day, a beautiful pure white butterfly came to me and kept flying around me.  Never too close, but close enough and my Grandad said, "There she is.  She's come to say hello to you."

I was so touched.  I had a little friend that was a butterfly.  I never saw her again after that but I knew she'd come to say thank you to me, before she left to live her life as a butterfly.

It was beautiful.

What if?

What if I never wrote.  What if I never shared the things I've come to understand.  What if I never tried to communicate the way things have been for me and how I've tried to overcome them?

When I first started writing 'out loud' and sharing the world I'd kept hidden away for so long, the world inside me, I felt so vulnerable and naked.  What if I was wrong?  What if the things I said sounded stupid?  Oh boy, did I cringe when I first started 'opening up'.

But people were kind and encouraged me, and I grew in confidence.  Some even thanked me, and told me my words had helped them see another way.  So I carried on writing.

I don't feel scared to say how it is for me anymore.  I don't have all the answers.  Sometimes the things I write, I have to go back and 'update' as I change my perspective and understanding.  But that's okay.  Really, I only have my answers.  I don't have answers for anyone else.  I don't know what's true for anyone else.  I find it hard to know what's true for me!

I just think we all help each other along.  Sometimes I'll write something, and the feedback I get, opens my eyes to something I hadn't seen before.  Sometimes the things I write open someone else's eyes to the things they hadn't seen before.

There are no experts.  All I can ever do is share my experience.  I'm not an expert.  Nor an authority.  And my 'voice' is no more right and no more important than yours.

If something I mention, inspires someone else to spurt new leafs and grow a little more then that's good.  And I have had lots of other people do the same for me, even if they had no idea that the smallest sentence could awaken a new part of me.

We are all wise.  If we let ourselves be.  If we trust in ourselves and our own good judgement.

Recent dreams

I've had quite a few profound dreams lately.  Off and on for the past year or so, they've visited me.

As I awake, I am in that awareness and then it quickly sleeps away, though I may to grasp onto it my waking mind cannot stay there, it seems.  There is a song by Dizzee Rascal called "Bonkers".  Might sound like just another pop song but there is a line in it that gets me:  "I wake up just to go back to sleep".

In these dreams, I am more 'awake' than I am when I'm awake.  I have experienced an awareness and knowing, that has been teaching me things.  They seem to have come as a series of lessons.  Hey!  I'm just writing how it feels to me, what seems true to me.

In these dreams, I enter a different awareness.  Same world, just a whole different awareness.  I know things just because I do, just because the knowing is all around, in the air.  It is just there, like radio waves are just there but you need a radio to tune into them.  I guess I've been tuning in to a different awareness.

I don't consciously remember these dreams but I know the 'information' is there still, I just don't consciously remember them, except one.  Just a snippet of it.

Beautiful Earth.  Seeing it with fully open eyes.  No layers.  No perceptions.  Just the way it is.  Everything just 'is'.  And then we look at it, a we put our perceptions and stories on it.  We tell a tale about it.  We make it appear to be what we think it is and that's how we see it.  But underneath that, it is what it is.  The stories, the labels, the perceptions belong to us, to our minds... underneath that, always, it is what it is.

Lost

Have you ever been lost?  So lost that you don't know who you are or what you want to do.

When the sadness has all gotten too much.  When the feeling of being unloved has become overwhelming.  When despite everything you've tried, nothing seems to have worked out the way you wanted?

You are in the forest.  And it can be dark in there.

The things you thought you once wanted, no longer call to you.

The person you once thought you were, stripped away.

And just no direction.  No clear sense of what to do next.

Just lost.  In the forest.

It's the falseness slipping away.  All the false faces you wore.  All the false dreams you carried.

You are being stripped naked.  Back to the core.  Back to who you really are.

And you will find at your core, strength.  A strength you never even knew you had.  Peace, a peace you never knew before.  Acceptance with the coming and going tides of life.

You are going back to your essence.  Back to your home.  The home that has always been inside you, all along.

Your answers aren't 'out there'.  They never were.  Your answers are inside you.  Locked deep within you.  You just need to quieten the noise and listen.  Listen to who you really are.

That is what the forest is for...

The Power of Love

We are all roses.  We all need love to thrive.

Throw nasty words at us, criticize, judge, ignore and we shrink.  We hide.  We don't want to come out to play anymore.

But throw love at us.  Throw kindness at us.  Encourage.  Wrap loving arms around us and we thrive.

We blossom.  We perk up.  We open.

Love is to us like water is to a flower.  With it we thrive, we are beautiful.  Without we wither and fade.

Love has such power.  Love nurtures, love encourages, love loves.

Speak with love.  Think with love.  Walk with love.  See with love.

And by doing this, you will make this world a better place.  We are flowers, each and every one of us.  Love is everything.

Shadows

 

There are aspects we share with the world,
But do you know your shadows?

The dark parts of you, that perhaps you'd rather not have, or wish no-one else knew about.

It's okay.  We all have dark sides.  Knowing them is the key.

You don't have to act on them.  But don't deny them.  Don't run from them.  

Nobody is perfect, that's for sure.  

It's okay to be honest about not being perfect.

In fact, it takes more strength to own up to your own weaknesses, than to blame it on someone else.

Don't run from yourself.  Know yourself in all your shades and hues.  And love those parts of you that are not so great.

I want to say no but I always say yes

 

I want to say no,

But I always say yes,

And end up on this screen.

So many people that I have met,

That have made my life serene,

I want to log out,

But I always log in,

It's getting on my nerves.

I should be doing exercise,

And working on my curves.

Facebook, facebook,

Leave me alone,

I love you,

Go away.

I need to do other things,

Stop taking over my day.

I want to say no,

But I always say yes,

And end up sitting here.

I'm gonna get tough,

And do other stuff,

See you maybe next year!

Gypsy In My Heart

 

 There's a gypsy in my heart,

Though I may walk quietly,

I long to walk barefoot on the grass,

And dance,

Because I feel,

I feel things so much,

When it rains,

I want you there with me,

You and me together,

The rain making us both wet,

I want you there,

Pulling my hair,

Pulling me close to you.

There's a gypsy in my heart,

Full of passion,

I feel so much,

A child's laugh warms my heart,

Puppies' tails make me smile,

The eyes of an old lady burn into my heart,

Who is she? What life has she known?

There's a gypsy in my heart,

I want to be free,

I want to be wild,

Like a child,

Free without a care,

Flicking my curly hair,

Dancing bare feet,

Moving to the beat,

I like it tribal, I like to dance,

Flowers grow,

And I wonder at how they are so beautiful,

So perfect,

A twig, so amazing,

How did things get to be so wonderful,

I am in awe at it all,

Life is an adventure,

All the people that walk past,

Different stories,

Entertain me,

But I am a gypsy at heart,

Wild, at home in the forest,

Bare feet,

Dancing,

And loving you.